Sunday, September 27, 2009

10 Months Today....

It's been 10 months today since we said goodbye to our Sweet Bregan. We miss him sooo much! It hurts more as we get close to his 1st birthday and Angelverssary than ever before. I woke up this morning crying and soooo ANGRY! How could that Bitch be sooooo careless with me and our sweet Bregan?? How could she be so flippant about using Cytotec and then such a high dose?? Today I can say that I have NO forgiveness in my heart. I am trying not to be bitter, but it's so hard when I think about our sweet little boy and what he would be doing today.
I still go through the whole thing of WHAT IF! It's really hard when I replay my labor and my feelings. Hindsight is 20/20. But I know it's not going to bring Bregan back, it's just where I am with things right now.
Speaking of right now. Some of you may know that we are expecting a new Webb in January 2010. It's been healing to be pregnant, but then it's also been scary. What if I lose this baby to something completely unexpected?? We never thought we would ever lose one child! It could NEVER happen to us. I know this little girl has a guardian angel, but it's so unfair! Aidan should have her little brother here and I should be stressed out on what I am going to do with 3 little ones under the age of 4 in January - LOL!
I just wanted to update a little. As we get close to Bregan's birthday and Angelverssary, it will be hard, but I am so glad we got to know our little man if only for 4 days. Thank you for reading!


  1. Hi Dianne, I haven't been on IV in months so I hadn't heard your news. Congratulations! I think about you and little Bregan often- I really can't imagine. I hope everything goes well with the birth of the newest Webb! Erin

  2. Dear Dianne,
    First of all I would like to say that I am so sorry for your loss.I have been reading your blog since the beginning and I have been so touched by your tragedy. I hope I am not intruding...I was in the Nov. 08 EC Club when I heard about Bregan. What a beautiful gorgeous boy! I have told so many women about your birth experience and showed them your blog and your beautiful video. Dianne, believe me everybody cried and is in shock to hear about that midwife.Your story has been a warning to so many mums. I am so sorry.
    I truly wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy.
    All my best,

  3. I love you girl! This little girl will continue to help you heal. Jeremiah 29:11

  4. I think you have to get angry before you can get better.

    Good luck with the new one in January!