A little Update...

Greetings all! I hope the New Year is treating everyone well. I know a few people still pop in here to see if I have had any updates or made any changes. Well I do have an update. About a month ago, I was speaking with another home birth midwife that actually knows the one that I used (I introduced the two of them through email). She informed me that my midwife used a drug on me to induce my labor called Cytotec. I was very shocked as I had never heard of the drug or heard my midwife make reference to it. Sadly my midwife only referred to the induction drug as "prostagladins", and while Cytotec is a form of prostagladin, she never told me the exact name. The worst part - she gave me a very large dose and large doses leads to exactly what happened to Bregan. Our sweet angel died a very horrible death, with brain bleeds, siezures and many more severe insults. We went to the autopsy report before Matthew left for school and it was soooo heartbreaking. I have been in touch with Bregan's doctor since I found out this information and he does think that the Cytotec could be what lead to Bregan's demise. There was basically no other reason why Bregan would have been born and suffered the way he did.
I will keep everyone updated if anything further from this develops, I really don't have much more to add. We are slowly healing, I have my very bitter days, and I do find that I am not as patient with people or tolerate stupid situations. My family gets all the patience I have, but I am sure they would disagree some days! Thank you for reading, your prayers and positive thoughts - they really do help!